Monday, March 2, 2009

March Madness- a post of random thoughts

Well, it's March 2nd. March has always been my toughest month and I think many people feel the same way. We have roughly 20 days until the first day of spring but if you looked outside my window, you wouldn't know it. We actually weren't hit bad by the latest east coast snow storm. We only have about 2 inches but the wind chill is fierce and makes the outdoors very uninviting. 

I am just ready to be warm and go for walks outside in a t-shirt. I'm ready to plant my garden and set up the patio furniture. I'm ready to watch Gavin chase the dogs around outside and teach him to kick a soccer ball. I'm ready to put away the dutch ovens and break out the barbeque. I'm ready for winter to be OVER!!!

I think I'm going to paint my bathroom this week. It's a dark coffee color right now and I feel like it just drags me down further into my March gloom. I think I'd like a pretty shade of blue and some green plants. I need to wake up to a more cheerful atmosphere. 

I have also come to the realization that I'm going to need to buck up and get a job pretty soon. I am having such a difficult time figuring out what I want to do. I have a new idea daily, yet, I have never felt less ambitious. I am not sure how to feel about a loss of ambition. I think it is sort of dangerous territory but yet freeing at the same time. I have really enjoyed my time home with Gavin and have no regrets about quitting my job. At the same time, I like working and connecting with people. I try to evaluate my skill-set and then search for jobs that compliment. I have been debating becoming a pilates teacher but don't know if I just like doing pilates for my own well-being; would I enjoy teaching it? Should I go back into banking? I must have enjoyed the field considering I spent so much time in it. My latest thought was to go get my teaching certificate and become a high school teacher- my original plan when I chose Western Washington University eleven years ago. I am seriously all over the place. I know I'm not alone in this struggle. There are many people out there, and I suspect some of my blog readers, that feel the same way. What do we want to be when we grow up? Or is it simply that careers are overrated?

Anyhow, this is why the month of March drives me nuts- I always end up spending too much time in my head. It's quite ridiculous.  I think for now, I will go for a run and clear my head. I will paint my bathroom and buy some kind of live plant. I will open all the blinds and try to let more light in. Spring is coming.


Hillary said...

I have never felt more in-tune with you. Going through the exact same things here ... ugh.

Matthew Moore said...

lucky for me i do not feel the gloom of winter. maybe its bc i was born and raised in the NW that i'm used to this gloomy weather we have here. i can relate to the whole "what to do with my career things" and with wanting to go back to school for teaching. on monday i start back up with wamu ( in a branch as a teller. i swore i'd never go back to a branch. go figure.

i also have been thinking a lot about going back to school to get my masters in teaching, but am leaning towards elementary ed.

i just went through my blog looking for this comment someone left, at least i thought it was there, but couldn't find it. it was something simple but oddly profound about we should focus more on what we enjoy and what makes us happy, rather than trying to "figure out a career."

i thought that was relevant to what you were saying and seeing as i can empathize with some of what you're feeling right now...figured i'd share what i could.

my comments are always way too long...oh well. hope the sun comes out soon!

Matthew Moore said...

found the quote! as it relates to finding a career...

"Do something fun. Do something you have at least some passion for. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to be miserable, it means you just have to find a way in the world, whatever that is."

Emily said...

Forget the bank! How about working with a cooking school or coordinating events for a local nursery? Or maybe you should go into interior design or I like your teaching plan too. Remember your goal is to find a FUN job! And you’re too creative to be stuck in a bank, in my humble opinion.